How to Choose –  SHOW NOTES

Season 1, Episode 8: Stay or Go

Tessa Mudge & Ken Smith


In this episode we look at non-urgent decisions, figuring out what’s important, and how to make time for it in our busy lives. 


  • There is no right way, the decisions is always personal 
  • Not deciding feels easy, but remember you are actually deciding to stay!
  • What is the opportunity cost of staying (or going?)
  • Ignore the sunk cost when making your decision
  • We should not be looking for perfection or the ‘right’ choice, but the best option for you at the time
  • Self-reflection is essential, what are your values?
  • Workshop your emotions: 
  • Do you feel relieved at the thought of leaving?
  • Can you foresee a future where things will get better if you stay the course?
  • What does an alternative future look and feel like?


The School of Life has some excellent resources, some relevant ones include: ‘How to Choose A Partner Wisely’. Some other tips for relationship deliberation. And Planet Money’s opportunity cost dating episode is fun.

If you think you might be in an unhealthy or unsafe relationship, please seek help.

Failing fast or intelligent failure can save you time and anguish.


  • Talk about these concepts with other people – this is a proven way to reinforce learning
  • Subscribe to How to Choose
  • Drop us a line at [email protected] 


Next episode we’ll be learning about the role of habits in decision making

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